I have no idea what business problem this solves. That's sad, because you used the word "powerhouse" to describe it, and that got my attention; that was good writing!
Learn the difference between a "feature" and a "benefit". A benefit is a pain I know I have even I don't know what any of your features are or mean. LEAD WITH BENEFITS.
This tool has the potential to drive down the costs of integrating mobile feedback. You can just use my app to integrate a range of input and media, as opposed to writing your own app from scratch to collect input.
Nope. Keep going. "Integrating mobile feedback" is a feature. See if this helps: a benefit is something my mom would understand, or a CEO would understand. What basic business function is improved by "integrating mobile feedback"? Why do I want a range of input and media, and why mobile?
Feature/function/benefit language is tricky, but it's extremely important.
Here is a fantastic example of what I'm talking about:
Getting warmer, but are you sure you want to assume that every business owner that owns an iPhone knows immediately why they want a custom iPhone application? You have 15 seconds to sell them.
Ok, when I read the copy on the home page and "How it Works" I didn't get it at all.
When I watched the video it made a ton of sense and made me really excited. Problem is when I come to a site like this I don't ever click on the video.
I would work on the copy, a lot. The tool is definitely powerful (I can think of several use-cases where a client wanted to use cheaper HTML forms but augmented with mobile device capabilities like camera & geo location) but the copy isn't expressing what it does in terms of the problems it solves for me, the random visitor. You need to paint the verbal descriptions with broader strokes.
Thanks rwhitman, based on the comments I can tell I need to go back to the drawing board with my pitch. What could I have told you to make you more inclined to have watched the video? Thanks again for your input!
I think getting users to click video play buttons tends to be an effort in futility - video is a time commitment. Its a good supplement to the copy, but I probably wouldn't depend on it as your main tool to explain the product...
I might be a bit slow between the ears, so I don't really understand what it is. What is it exactly? Is it a webservice, is it a piece of technology? Is it a javascript library?
The site looks very nice and you absolutely have my attention.
Thanks for your interest, Skanr is the iPhone client that allows your service to leverage this new functionality. The interface used to capture data is represented by a simple JSON string, hope that helps!
I don't know what it is. I read the "How It Works" page and don't understand how it works. There's something called a metric, which is encoded as a JSON string and somehow sent to a phone which renders a UI to send something back. What is communicating with the phone? Is it a web service you're going to run? Is it a library for my application to use?
The HTML link includes a launch parameter telling the phone where to download the Metric (the json string), allowing the Skanr client to parse it, render the interface, and send the results to the defined destination.
What HTML link? A URL pointing to some kind of service you'll run? How will this service be connected to a phone? Is it something I'll build into a mobile application? Do you register a phone through a website and the phone runs some generic Skanr application? You've only lead me to more questions!
The link that launched the Skanr app contains a variable with a URI to the Metric file. The Metric file can be stored anywhere, it just has to be a valid HTTP URI. The data is collected by the Skanr client and sent directly to your web service via XHR. Keep the questions coming if you have them :)
Too much jargon. You've managed to make it even less understandable. Answer these questions, and substitute them in your explanation:
- What is a launch parameter?
- What is a Metric?
- Why do I want the Metric to be parsed?
- How does a Metric render an interface? What does this even mean?
- What is an example of a 'defined destination'? Is it my server? Is it digg.com? Is it a new site? Is it Google Analytics?
Pretending I understand what that meant, a better explanation might be:
"The Skanr client allows for mobile phones to update your server with usage statistics. It works by downloading Metrics stored on your server, parsing them to add client-specific details such as mobile browser version and carrier, and then uploading them to our analytics service."
I have a web app that keeps inventory of your physical book collection (not really). My users would like to use their iPhone as a bar-code scanner to add new books to their inventory. I don't want to create a native application so I decide to integrate with your app. My user installs your native app and then comes to my site to add a book and clicks a scan link. That scan link calls your native app to use the camera on the device to scan the bar-code, decode the image and send me back an ISBN.
I'm not sure I would have taken the time to figure out that's how it works without seeing this on HN.
"Go where your html form can’t."
That makes sense to you and me now, but meant nothing to me when I first entered your website.
In terms of the website design you should find something to put in the whitespace to the left of the video and below the description - maybe a quote from a well-known person, or make the video more square and pull up the content below the fold.
Hello HN, I would be super happy if you share some feedback on my project! I'm hoping my tool can help some folks make some cool mashups, thanks again for your time :)
Very well done. This is a new model, at least to me, and an easy way to access the mobile space without creating a native app. I think this will be very effective.
The website and newsletter signup process are very polished.
I have no idea what business problem this solves. That's sad, because you used the word "powerhouse" to describe it, and that got my attention; that was good writing!
Learn the difference between a "feature" and a "benefit". A benefit is a pain I know I have even I don't know what any of your features are or mean. LEAD WITH BENEFITS.
This tool has the potential to drive down the costs of integrating mobile feedback. You can just use my app to integrate a range of input and media, as opposed to writing your own app from scratch to collect input.
Nope. Keep going. "Integrating mobile feedback" is a feature. See if this helps: a benefit is something my mom would understand, or a CEO would understand. What basic business function is improved by "integrating mobile feedback"? Why do I want a range of input and media, and why mobile?
Feature/function/benefit language is tricky, but it's extremely important.
Here is a fantastic example of what I'm talking about:
http://www.appointmentreminder.org/
Website owners don't have to create an iPhone application to interact with a mobile phone. Hows that?
Getting warmer, but are you sure you want to assume that every business owner that owns an iPhone knows immediately why they want a custom iPhone application? You have 15 seconds to sell them.
I think tptacek is asking for real world use cases along the lines of:
[Problem] <-Your Solution-> [Better* Outcome]
*cheaper, easier, more reliable
Ok, when I read the copy on the home page and "How it Works" I didn't get it at all.
When I watched the video it made a ton of sense and made me really excited. Problem is when I come to a site like this I don't ever click on the video.
I would work on the copy, a lot. The tool is definitely powerful (I can think of several use-cases where a client wanted to use cheaper HTML forms but augmented with mobile device capabilities like camera & geo location) but the copy isn't expressing what it does in terms of the problems it solves for me, the random visitor. You need to paint the verbal descriptions with broader strokes.
Thanks rwhitman, based on the comments I can tell I need to go back to the drawing board with my pitch. What could I have told you to make you more inclined to have watched the video? Thanks again for your input!
I think getting users to click video play buttons tends to be an effort in futility - video is a time commitment. Its a good supplement to the copy, but I probably wouldn't depend on it as your main tool to explain the product...
I might be a bit slow between the ears, so I don't really understand what it is. What is it exactly? Is it a webservice, is it a piece of technology? Is it a javascript library?
The site looks very nice and you absolutely have my attention.
Thanks for your interest, Skanr is the iPhone client that allows your service to leverage this new functionality. The interface used to capture data is represented by a simple JSON string, hope that helps!
Just a suggestion -- use DisplayRecorder (from Cydia) on a device ( http://rpetrich.com/cydia/displayrecorder/ ) or SimFinger (on GitHub) with the simulator ( http://blog.atebits.com/2009/03/not-your-average-iphone-scre... ) when taking your videos -- it makes it a lot more pleasant and less confusing than seeing a mouse cursor over the iPhone's screen.
I don't know what it is. I read the "How It Works" page and don't understand how it works. There's something called a metric, which is encoded as a JSON string and somehow sent to a phone which renders a UI to send something back. What is communicating with the phone? Is it a web service you're going to run? Is it a library for my application to use?
The HTML link includes a launch parameter telling the phone where to download the Metric (the json string), allowing the Skanr client to parse it, render the interface, and send the results to the defined destination.
What HTML link? A URL pointing to some kind of service you'll run? How will this service be connected to a phone? Is it something I'll build into a mobile application? Do you register a phone through a website and the phone runs some generic Skanr application? You've only lead me to more questions!
The link that launched the Skanr app contains a variable with a URI to the Metric file. The Metric file can be stored anywhere, it just has to be a valid HTTP URI. The data is collected by the Skanr client and sent directly to your web service via XHR. Keep the questions coming if you have them :)
What is the Skanr app? Is that a desktop program or a mobile program? If it's mobile, how does it get on my phone?
How does a link from my website launch the Skanr app? What is the NS class or method?
The browser recognizes the protocol of the skanr:// link and launches the application.
I found it, a custom URI scheme - cool.
as an example here's the link
skanr://?action=download&source=http://192.168.0.100:4000/items/skanr.json
Too much jargon. You've managed to make it even less understandable. Answer these questions, and substitute them in your explanation:
- What is a launch parameter? - What is a Metric? - Why do I want the Metric to be parsed? - How does a Metric render an interface? What does this even mean? - What is an example of a 'defined destination'? Is it my server? Is it digg.com? Is it a new site? Is it Google Analytics?
Pretending I understand what that meant, a better explanation might be:
"The Skanr client allows for mobile phones to update your server with usage statistics. It works by downloading Metrics stored on your server, parsing them to add client-specific details such as mobile browser version and carrier, and then uploading them to our analytics service."
Is this how it works?
I have a web app that keeps inventory of your physical book collection (not really). My users would like to use their iPhone as a bar-code scanner to add new books to their inventory. I don't want to create a native application so I decide to integrate with your app. My user installs your native app and then comes to my site to add a book and clicks a scan link. That scan link calls your native app to use the camera on the device to scan the bar-code, decode the image and send me back an ISBN.
I'm not sure I would have taken the time to figure out that's how it works without seeing this on HN.
"Go where your html form can’t."
That makes sense to you and me now, but meant nothing to me when I first entered your website.
That's exactly how it works, if you have any ideas on how to repackage the sell I'm all ears! It sounds like this is my new priority :)
I don't get targeting the iPhone yet featuring Flash on the home page. Your audience can play HTML5 or gracefully degrade to QT.
It's about iPhone, but I can't see it on iPhone or iPad.
Make pitch1.swf a .mp4 file, and use the embed stack here:
http://camendesign.com/code/video_for_everybody
Try the second one from the bottom, w/o the Ogg lines.
In terms of the website design you should find something to put in the whitespace to the left of the video and below the description - maybe a quote from a well-known person, or make the video more square and pull up the content below the fold.
Hello HN, I would be super happy if you share some feedback on my project! I'm hoping my tool can help some folks make some cool mashups, thanks again for your time :)
I reworked the copy in the main section, hope that clarifies some confusion. I'll continue working on the copy to sell the benefits, thanks everyone!
Site isn't loading for me, anyone else having this problem? I'd love to give some feedback if I could visit the site.
Ahh one sec, I'm resizing the server.
Very well done. This is a new model, at least to me, and an easy way to access the mobile space without creating a native app. I think this will be very effective.
The website and newsletter signup process are very polished.
Congrats
The goal is to make the mobile space more accessible, thanks for the comment!