When [you use NVC on me], I feel [patronised] because I'm needing some [respect as a fellow human being]. Would you be able to [drop the insincere MBA bullshit and treat me like an adult]?
I never heard of NVC until today, but I'm realizing many of the "fake" people I've communicated with in my business career have been using this type of speaking, and it makes sense why they couldn't give me direct answers - they were hyper-focusing on how their reply should be crafted as NVC instead of simply answering my questions.
It's infuriating when you are simply trying to get something done and the other person is more concerned with the alignment of their spoken words than actually giving you the information you need. Just tell me what I did wrong so I can fix it ffs.
That's most likely an over usage of NVC. I can see how this format of conversation could be useful for difficult conversations. Applying it to all your professional communications not only seems like a lot of effort and burdensome, but for the reasons you mentioned, might actually be counterproductive.
That's really the worst. When people copy and paste something like NVC insincerely. It's not a "tool" that you "implement" in your speaking style.
But, when people are taking on things like this at first, it is awkward. I remember my first one-on-ones as a manager were super awkward, because I hadn't internalized a sincere way of doing it, I was following a recipe I learned on a podcast. And, for someone to learn to be a good manager, there's likely to be some awkward recipe-following along the way. We're all learning as we go.
I think for things like NVC there's the stated technique, and then there's the art of it. The art takes a pretty major shift in mindset for a lot of people, and managers can still be in very high-level roles while still being super insincere robots, usually because they're really good at other stuff.
It's a guide, and once it's been used a few times the language can be adapted to sound more like your nature voice but still conveying the same information.
I never heard of NVC until today, but I'm realizing many of the "fake" people I've communicated with in my business career have been using this type of speaking, and it makes sense why they couldn't give me direct answers - they were hyper-focusing on how their reply should be crafted as NVC instead of simply answering my questions.
It's infuriating when you are simply trying to get something done and the other person is more concerned with the alignment of their spoken words than actually giving you the information you need. Just tell me what I did wrong so I can fix it ffs.
That's most likely an over usage of NVC. I can see how this format of conversation could be useful for difficult conversations. Applying it to all your professional communications not only seems like a lot of effort and burdensome, but for the reasons you mentioned, might actually be counterproductive.
That's really the worst. When people copy and paste something like NVC insincerely. It's not a "tool" that you "implement" in your speaking style.
But, when people are taking on things like this at first, it is awkward. I remember my first one-on-ones as a manager were super awkward, because I hadn't internalized a sincere way of doing it, I was following a recipe I learned on a podcast. And, for someone to learn to be a good manager, there's likely to be some awkward recipe-following along the way. We're all learning as we go.
I think for things like NVC there's the stated technique, and then there's the art of it. The art takes a pretty major shift in mindset for a lot of people, and managers can still be in very high-level roles while still being super insincere robots, usually because they're really good at other stuff.
It's a guide, and once it's been used a few times the language can be adapted to sound more like your nature voice but still conveying the same information.
> "once it's been used a few times the language can be adapted to sound more like your nature voice"
My natural voice? Is that my violent one?
Yes, this NVC is just like what a lawyer use to attack others.