CobrastanJorji a day ago

I like how, even when the whole point is to not have any terms or conditions, there are still disclaimers. "Only for lawful purposes," "no warranty," "we are not responsible."

Those are still terms and conditions!

  • goodmythical a day ago

    Right? Why include that? The law automatically applies. Including it in the license is just redundant.

    Had it simply read "You may use this site for any purpose." or "You may use this site." or "You may use this" or "This can be used." it would have the same level actual restriciton in that you obviously aren't allowed to use it to break the law regardless of what it actually says.

    And, having typed all that, I realize that there is another restriction in that it presumes that there is a 'you' using it. Things that are not 'you' cannot use it given that it specifically lists 'you' in the referenced parties. "This can be used" would be more permissive.

    • lxgr a day ago

      I recently had to confirm to a brokerage that I won’t be using the money I’m withdrawing for any illegal activities.

      A sure sign of a legal team or possibly an entire legal system having lost the plot. Hopefully only the former.

      • wrs a day ago

        That’s simple CYA, and also ensures you’ve not only done the illegal activity, you’ve defrauded the brokerage and breached your contract with them, and they get a weak KYC defense as well.

        Similar to the “Al Capone” instructions from the IRS:

        >Income from illegal activities, such as money from dealing illegal drugs, must be included in your income on Schedule 1 (Form 1040), line 8z, or on Schedule C (Form 1040) if from your self-employment activity.

        On the other hand, if you want to talk about these stickers all over Seattle saying you’re not allowed to conduct illegal activities on the premises…

        • janalsncm a day ago

          I still don’t understand the CYA though.

          For the majority of banks, they do not want people to conduct illegal activity via their bank. For the minority of banks which don’t mind it, nothing stops them from adding the clause anyways. A cartel bank probably cannot use the existence of the clause as a defense if they’re still allowing illegal activity.

          If the purpose is to allow the bank to terminate accounts suspected of illegal activity, my assumption is they can already terminate for much less than that.

          • sedev 20 hours ago

            https://www.bitsaboutmoney.com/archive/kyc-and-aml-beyond-th...

            > You might look at the standard KYC questionnaire for a new retail account and think “Really? You ask questions which have obviously correct answers. You give people less than a tweet worth of space to answer them. How could this possibly catch any criminals not stupid enough to write Occupation: Drug Dealer?” […] this is not the only mechanism by which KYC questionnaires have a stochastic effect; they’re also useful in an entirely different part of the crime lifecycle. Many, many crimes involve lies, but most lies told are not crimes and most lies told are not recorded for forever. We did, however, make a special rule for lies told to banks: they’re potentially very serious crimes and they will be recorded with exacting precision, for years, by one of the institutions in society most capable of keeping accurate records and most findable by agents of the state.

            > This means that if your crime touches money, and much crime is financially motivated, and you get beyond the threshold of crime which can be done purely offline and in cash, you will at some point attempt to interface with the banking system. And you will lie to the banks, because you need bank accounts, and you could not get accounts if you told the whole truth.

            > The government wants you to do this. Their first choice would be you not committing crimes, but contingent on you choosing to break the law, they prefer you also lie to a bank. […]

            > Particularly in white collar crime, establishing complicated chains of evidence about e.g. a corporate fraud, and mens rea of the responsible parties, is not straightforward. But then at some point in the caper comes a very simple question: “Were you completely honest with your bank?” And the answer will frequently be “Well, no, I necessarily had to lie in writing.”

            > And congratulations, you have just eaten a wire charge fraud for every transaction you’ve ever done.

            • xstas1 10 hours ago

              I learned about this from The Wire. They called it "the headshot"

          • wrs a day ago

            It’s not just that they don’t want it, it’s that they’re liable for it themselves if they should have known it was happening. Asking you adds one more small layer of “we discouraged illegal activity and we didn’t know about any”.

            • janalsncm a day ago

              Maybe I am just slow.

              Bank 1 has the CYA clause and a cartel uses them for a decade for illegal purposes.

              Bank 2 does not have the clause and a cartel uses them for a decade for illegal purposes.

              In neither case does the clause prevent the illegal activity or make the bank any more or less aware of what customers are doing. They have to do KYC regardless of what the TOS says.

              • anamexis a day ago

                The point of the CYA clause isn’t to prevent illegal activity or make the bank more aware of what customers are doing. The point is that when Bank 1 is defending itself in court, it has one additional thing they can point at when arguing that it should not be liable for the illegal activities.

                • janalsncm 18 hours ago

                  Ok, fair enough. I just don’t think that is convincing evidence, personally. But there would be 11 other people on the jury.

                • watwut 12 hours ago

                  The bank that actually welcome the AlCapone will be first to have that form. If the court can be affected by something like that, it says something really bad about the legal system.

                • lxgr 12 hours ago

                  If this actually works in court, the corresponding legal system has completely lost the plot, in my view.

              • stavros 19 hours ago

                The "cover your ass" clause is for the bank to cover its ass, not to prevent the crime.

                • janalsncm 18 hours ago

                  The point is, no judge or jury should be fooled into thinking putting “don’t do illegal stuff” in a TOS actually should matter. Forget the TOS. They allowed illegal activity.

                  • stavros 14 hours ago

                    The point is they can claim they didn't know.

                    • lxgr 11 hours ago

                      Yes, and any functional legal system would then tell them that asking the subject directly and explicitly whether they're trying to use your bank for money laundering does not count as "taking measures".

                      If you have actual measures (such as asking for source of funds and then asking for proof if the evidence looks incongruent with what was stated), you have no need for the silly question; if you don't, the silly question won't save you either.

                      This should go for both the asker and the subject of the question: Illegal things are already illegal. If a given legal system requires the silly question to be able to "tack on wire fraud charges" to something that would otherwise go unpunished(?!), I think what should be fixed is the legal system, not every single banking form.

                      • stavros 11 hours ago

                        Yeah, this makes sense, it is a bit of CYA theater.

              • pocksuppet 19 hours ago

                The CEO of bank 2 goes to prison because "you turned a blind eye to illegal activity"

                • janalsncm 18 hours ago

                  And what about the CEO of bank 1?

                  • pocksuppet 16 hours ago

                    His bank gets fined 3 minutes of revenue because "you turned a blind eye to illegal activity"

          • stevage a day ago

            Having a clear clause to point to when terminating the account seems useful.

            • lxgr 11 hours ago

              Banks can (and in fact are highly incentivized) to close your account if you're using it for criminal activity with or without you lying about it on some silly form.

        • abustamam a day ago

          I'm curious if anyone has ever said yes to income from illegal activities. Moreover, I wonder if something like this would be protected under 5th amendment.

          • lxgr 11 hours ago

            I recently chuckled when doing my taxes and reporting miscellaneous income when I saw that one possible income category in my tax software was "bribes, received".

          • pocksuppet 19 hours ago

            I wonder what happens if you write "5th amendment" as the source for your completely legal salary.

            • lxgr 11 hours ago

              They'll probably close your account and point to their right to choose who they do and don't do business with without having to explain themselves.

          • aidenn0 a day ago

            IANAL, but my understanding is that it is not protected under the 5th amendment.

      • nickff a day ago

        This is probably a meek attempt at demonstrating compliance with Anti-Money-Laundering (AML) laws and regulations. Lawyers will often suggest this sort of thing, because the only cost is a slight inconvenience to the client, and it might suggest 'good faith' in the case of a prosecution or enforcement action.

      • josephg a day ago

        > I won’t be using the money I’m withdrawing for any illegal activities.

        My guess is that this is so they can ban any drug dealers from their site without consequence. "They violated our terms of service your honour!"

    • kimixa a day ago

      Probably because the "default" (in the USA and all European states I've checked at least) is copyright protection - unless explicitly stated otherwise the original author has exclusive rights to reproduce or distribute the work.

      That means that things with "no license" don't actually mean "you can do whatever you want" - but in fact "you can do realistically nothing".

      So to actually let other people so much as look at it, you have to have some kind of license attached already. And then it can be easy to imply (in the eyes of the law) things like "fitness for purpose" or some kind of warrenty unless expicitly denied.

      Honestly it's really annoying to find things like code on the internet with "no license" - that just means you can pretty much never even look at it. You could argue that isn't the "right" default, but the law is what the law is right now.

    • spalzdog a day ago

      When it's in the contract, then it means that when you break the law you both break the law and the contract. SHould it be necessary? Perhaps not, but in some places that makes a meaningful difference.

      • AnimalMuppet a day ago

        Now I'm paranoid. To your knowledge, which places does it make a difference, and what difference does it make?

        • fastball a day ago

          Legal matters are almost never black and white. If someone does something illegal using my service, and some other 3rd party sues me as party to that illegal behavior, from a legal perspective having a clause like "no criminal behavior allowed" in there makes it easier for your lawyers to argue "my client clearly didn't intend to authorize/facilitate such behavior". This argument is of course made much stronger if it is paired with behavior, like banning (or attempting to ban) the criminal user as soon as the activity was identified.

          But if you are paranoid you should speak with a lawyer in your jurisdiction.

        • greycol a day ago

          In most places it doesn't make a difference to the outcome of the legal process what it does do is give you a quicker simpler off ramp from the legal process (which reduces costs) and may stop some idiots even trying to sue in the first place.

          "Do not iron clothes while on body" should not be required to not be found liable, but it does change the question in court from providing discovery for safety consideration, how comprehensive is the manual, how... and the costs involved with that to "Did the customer use the device in a way that was it was clearly labelled to not be used? Did any part of the product packaging or instructions contradict this warning? ...Dismissed".

          • abustamam a day ago

            On top of that, I think my canister of Lysol wet wipes and many other bottles of cleaning chemicals says something like "it is against federal law to use this product for any purposes other than its intended use"

            Like, yeah it's illegal to do illegal stuff with or without the label, but at least Lysol could say "we did tell him that he can't use it for that."

            • codebje 21 hours ago

              It's illegal to do illegal stuff, but it's not illegal to do off-label usage stuff. If I want to take your hydrogen peroxide you sell as a surface disinfectant and mix it with vinegar and salt to etch my PCBs at home, that's my prerogative.

              • abustamam 20 hours ago

                Well, who's gonna tell on you? :) I don't have a bottle of H2O2 handy so I don't know if it normally has that disclaimer.

    • zephen a day ago

      > Right? Why include that? The law automatically applies. Including it in the license is just redundant.

      Perhaps not. The law, as automatically applied, often include implied warranties.

    • j_bizzle a day ago

      It's almost like the most effective way to publish without T&Cs is to just, you know, omit the section and publish what you want without T&Cs.

      • terrabiped a day ago

        Interesting question. I wonder what the default (implied) T&C would be if nothing has been explicitly stated. For example, publishing a source code without an explicit license doesn't make it open source.

        • pocksuppet 19 hours ago

          Most T&Cs don't mean anything anyway. There are no default T&Cs, there's just the law.

          Publishing code without a license doesn't give it an "implicit all-rights-reserved license" - it's just illegal to copy because that's what copyright law says. A license is a conditional waiver of copyright law, a contract where the author promises not to enforce copyright against you if you fulfil certain conditions. (and this is legally binding so they actually can't enforce copyright against you)

        • volemo a day ago

          I guess it’d be whatever the other party’s lawyer can persuade the judge into.

    • awesome_dude a day ago

      > Right? Why include that? The law automatically applies.

      Because the law applies - by that I mean if you don't put a disclaimer in then the law takes the view that you do provide a warranty, etc.

      • volemo a day ago

        Does it take the view that I encourage/facilitate illegal use of my product unless I state otherwise in the T&C?

        • abustamam a day ago

          Encourage, probably not. Facilitate, possibly. That's why my bottle of Windex glass cleaner says "it's against federal law to use this product for anything other than its intended purpose."

          In either case it's illegal for me to use it for bad purposes, but how much I can blame on Windex depends on how much they let me know that I shouldn't do bad stuff with their products.

        • awesome_dude a day ago

          Ask every account that has ever released information on drug use, lock picking, explosives manufacture, or "hacking" - they all say "for educational purposes only" for a damned good reason

  • isoprophlex a day ago

    Should have gone for the WTFPL

            DO WHAT THE FUCK YOU WANT TO PUBLIC LICENSE
    
            TERMS AND CONDITIONS FOR COPYING, DISTRIBUTION AND MODIFICATION
    
                0. You just DO WHAT THE FUCK YOU WANT TO.
  • sph a day ago

    If anyone knows that rules exist to be broken, it's Jorji. Glory to Cobrastan.

  • daveguy a day ago

    "NoTermsNoConditions"... Proceeds to list 9 terms and conditions.

    It should be called bare-termsandconditions or minimal-termsandconditions.

  • AndrewKemendo a day ago

    This is the real salient point in this post in my opinion;

    It unintentionally demonstrates the limits of individual agency to avoid legal embroilments

    That is to say: it doesn’t really matter what this person puts on their website because there is a judge and a sheriff somewhere that can force you to do something that would violate the things you wrote down because the things you wrote are subordinate to jurisdictional law (which is invoked as you point out)

    It’s actually pretty poetic when you think about it because the page effectively says nothing because it doesn’t have content that the license applies to

    If it’s a art piece intended to show something about licensure all it does is demonstrate the degree to which licensure is predicated on jurisdiction

Retr0id a day ago

I wonder how many one-sentence prompts have made it to the HN front page at this point.

  • tsunagatta 18 hours ago

    Ah, now that you mention it, the part at the bottom makes it pretty obvious too:

    >Last updated: never

    >No further pages. No hidden clauses.

    Exactly the sort of cutesy language the LLMs use when they're trying to agree with you. "You got it! Here's a page with simple, easy to understand terms and conditions. No further pages. No hidden clauses. Nothing hidden behind another link."

  • Yhippa a day ago

    "Alternative Terms" was the giveaway.

    • mat0 18 hours ago

      for me it was the “No further pages. No hidden clauses.” Reeks of LLM

  • ellyagg a day ago

    I don’t know, but it’s kind of boring to speculate since computers easily beat us at chess and go.

    • Retr0id a day ago

      Preventing computer-based cheating in competitive chess is a big deal (and I assume go also), because spectators tend not to want to watch two computers playing against each other.

layer8 a day ago

> By accessing or using this site, you acknowledge and accept the following terms.

I’m pretty sure this is already questionable in the EU.

  • _vsrp a day ago

    ---

    • layer8 a day ago

      It depends, not everything requires explicit consent. Where it doesn’t, it’s sufficient if the terms are clear, understandable, and transparent. The last criterion means that the terms must be prominently advertised in the locations where they apply.

  • dbvn a day ago

    [flagged]

    • 9dev a day ago

      Who is "we"? Given the EU is the single largest foreign market openly accessible to the USA and all that money y’all invested into your pension ETFs needs constant growth to avoid shrinking, and the EU is your best bet on that… I’d recommend not ignoring us :-)

      • catcowcostume 17 hours ago

        Who us "us"? You? Your EU representative? Your country? The EU is much more insignificant than people within the EU like to admit.

0xbadcafebee a day ago

Remember when people started using WTFPL because it "sounded good", only to later find out it left them and their users legally liable? This is that but for websites.

johnplatte a day ago

Comedically, this doesn't load from my IP address in the Russian Federation. (HN does.)

  • replooda a day ago

    > 4. Nothing here is guaranteed, including availability, correctness, continuity, or fitness for any purpose.

    There you go.

  • stavros a day ago

    Yes that was one of the nine terms the site didn't have.

  • bayneri a day ago

    unintended condition: cloudflare

    p.s. quick fix is "stop being lazy and move the single html off cloudflare"

    • volemo a day ago

      I’m not lazy, I’m just tired of the fucking AI crawlers trashing my bandwidth.

tech_jabroni a day ago

No alarms, no surprises

  • joncrane a day ago

    My mind when to the same thing. Great song.

tosti a day ago

Schrödingers terms and conditions

  • amarant a day ago

    Read carefully if you are of a feline persuasion

kilna 18 hours ago

#5 "Access is not conditioned on approval" would seem to be permission to DDOS.

gnfargbl a day ago

> Access is not conditioned on approval.

The Zen Koan of T&C's.

jborichevskiy a day ago

I know this is mostly parody, but I'm curious if anyone has good starter templates for something that covers the general stuff and doesn't require a lawyer to customize

amelius a day ago

The URL basically nulls the license agreement.

  • catcowcostume 17 hours ago

    That is not how T&C work.

    • amelius 14 hours ago

      If a legal agreement comes in an envelope with the written text "this envelope contains BS", what do you think a judge will say about its validity?

chopete3 20 hours ago

It seems a fun and curiosity website. Not for any real use.

vincentabolarin a day ago

Not sure how this is supposed to be useful, but I had a good laugh.

shevy-java a day ago

Is that useful for anything?

catlifeonmars a day ago

goes without saying

that this site definitely

does not, legally

Barbing a day ago

Hope this slop doesn’t get anyone into trouble.

  Last updated: never
  No further pages. No hidden clauses.
Not sure “last updated=never” works, but I don’t make terms and conditions websites.
  • bayneri a day ago

    use at your own risk

    > 8. You are responsible for what you do, what you build, and what follows from either.

    • FinnKuhn a day ago

      As far as I'm concerned this doesn't mean anything legally unless I missed something. Aren't you already responsible for what you do or build anyways?

      Or is this somehow meant to mean something else but worded so badly it can't be understood.

the_axiom a day ago

amazing how such a simple website lags to scroll on my phone

weinzierl a day ago

Just today I asked an LLM:

"Often one generation values things much more than others. Boomers and their wristwatches. One generation is like 'only from my cold dead hands,' the others 'what would I even need this for?!' What are examples of things the youngest generation did away with?"

If OP were a checklist, the answer would have checked every point.

knorker a day ago

This does not read like it was written by a professional. Non-professionals writing licenses and T&Cs cause problems because no organization, for profit or not, wants to be dragged into court to get a "common sense" definition of a word or comma defined, at their expense.

I've heard of large organizations reaching out to places who use amateur T&Cs and licenses, saying "if we give you $X, can you dual license this as MIT, Apache, BSD, or hell anything standard?".

> Access is not conditioned on approval

Is this obvious enough legalese to not waste tens of thousands of dollars in legal fees if you get sued?

Note before you reply: I will not argue with you about how obvious it is. If you are actually a lawyer then it'd be interesting to hear your guidance, which I very much understand is not legal advice. If you're not a lawyer then I'm not.

  • kemitchell a day ago

    > > Access is not conditioned on approval

    I practice law in California. I've written terms of service that many, many people here on HN will have agreed to. I read this line and didn't know what it meant, or what it intended to mean.

    That said:

    > If you are actually a lawyer then it'd be interesting to hear your guidance, which I very much understand is not legal advice. If you're not a lawyer then I'm not.

    There's no good way to validate lawyerdom on public social media like HN. And while the average lawyer probably remembers enough from law school or bar exams to know slightly more about Web terms of service and legal drafting than the average person, there's nothing to stop non-lawyers from reading up and learning. Eric Goldman's Technology & Marketing Law Blog is a great, public source covering cases on ToS and other issues, for example.

    The Bar monopolizes representation within legal institutions. Don't cede the law itself to lawyers.

    • TZubiri a day ago

      >Access is not conditioned on approval

      Legal training may be counterproductive to understanding this obviously non legal document.

      I understand that it simply means that 'the thing' is public, and everyone has access. As opposed to access being granted explicitly to individuals.

      • knorker 14 hours ago

        Well… in a court the people with legal training run the show. And keep in mind that you don't have to technically lose, in order to lose both money and time.

        • TZubiri 10 hours ago

          Oh I agree, I'm just saying that I understood what was meant

    • knorker a day ago

      You can be competent without being a lawyer, sure. But if you see the other replies to my comment, you see why I would use this as a filter.

      The dumbest person can be right, but as a lawyer, your guess is much better.

      I don't cede the law. It's just that if I find this unclear, then J Random Hn commenter's opinion wouldn't reduce my risk.

      I won't be acting based on your opinion either, of course, but the quality of your reply is clearly in a different class from the other two.

  • usea a day ago

    It's common for non-lawyers to write terms and conditions, and other contracts.

    • knorker 14 hours ago

      You're right. I can see how I phrased that poorly. I meant what I said, but it also implies something that I don't.

      It's not a requirement for a contract to be written by a lawyer, any more than a python script needs to be written by a professional coder. But in both cases the result tends to have problems. (skipping here how LLMs fit into this)

      The way in which scripts and contracts can be "fixed" later are different, with no clever sound byte about just how these apples are different from oranges.

  • zephen a day ago

    > I will not argue with you about how obvious it is.

    Good. Don't. Because it is exceedingly plain, if concise, English.

    • tempestn a day ago

      I'm guessing it means that your use of the website is not contingent on you accepting (approving of) the terms presented. But there are plenty of other ways it could be reasonably interpreted. For instance, your access of the website is not contingent on the website operator approving said access.

      • zephen a day ago

        > I'm guessing it means that your use of the website is not contingent on you accepting

        I don't think it says that at all. Because "accepting" is the right word for this interpretation, as you point out. "Approval" is a different thing altogether. You can accept something without approving of it -- that's the main message in the Serenity Prayer and hundreds of self-help books that try to reframe that message, maybe to help it sink in, maybe just to grift a little.

        If it was literally spelled out as "Your access is not conditioned on your approval" that could almost be taken as a threat -- you will access this whether you want to or not.

        > For instance, your access of the website is not contingent on the website operator approving said access.

        To me, this is clearly what it says. "(Your) access is not conditioned on (our) approval."

        But, of course, since you read it differently, I have to agree that perhaps it's not as clear as I thought.

        However...

        Contracts and agreements, if ambiguous, are always interpreted in a light most favorable to the party who didn't draft them.

        So, absolute worst case (for the website owner), if we combine your reading and mine, it reads "Your access is not conditioned on either your approval of these terms, or our approval of you."

        Somehow, I think the author is OK with this.

    • knorker a day ago

      This is exactly the kind of comment I politely asked people not to make.

      Did you see the actual lawyer saying they don't know what it means?

      • zephen a day ago

        A statement that "If you're not a lawyer then I'm not." is blunt, not particularly polite or not.

        In any case, (a) it's not a request, and (b) if you truly want to control the narrative, then perhaps you should just do that from your own blog.

  • ndriscoll a day ago

    Sounds like a smart strategy then. Use an amateur license. People who just want to do stuff know they have your blessing. Corporations will stay away or pay up, not because you made them, but of their own volition. Everyone is happy.

    Of course even better is to simply have no explicit license, especially for something like code. Normal people can assume they can do whatever they'd like (basically, public domain). Lawyers will assume they cannot. The only thing stopping someone is their own belief in their self restrictions. i.e. you can use the thing if and only if you don't believe in my authority on the matter.

    • iamnotai666 a day ago

      No explicit license is not basically public domain. In most jurisdictions it means the default is full copyright, so permission is less clear, not more. The practical effect is usually to increase ambiguity rather than grant freedom.

      • ndriscoll a day ago

        That's the point: it's a rejection of the premise that you need these sorts of terms. You treat the law as the farce it has turned itself into. If people reject the farce, they can use it. If they support the farce, they can't (well, they can, but they think they can't). In a sense, an anarchist's viral FOSS license.

    • knorker a day ago

      You are essentially saying that shoplifting is legal because as a civilian you are unlikely to get caught.

      This is a terrible take. All it takes is a litigious jerk, and you could get bankrupt. And that jerk will be legally in the right.

      • ndriscoll a day ago

        I'm not. In saying people who want to share their work should just do so. If your goal is to not have terms, don't have terms. Don't lend credibility to the idea that you need to by default.

        Consider the war on drugs. Recreational marijuana is still highly illegal everywhere in the US, but there's businesses selling it that operate in plain view. How did we get there? Because people continued to point out how the law delegitimized itself until enforcement has started to become impossible.

        • knorker 14 hours ago

          You can't unilaterally opt out of copyright. Not in a legal sense. In many jurisdictions not even on the creator side. E.g. Europe commonly doesn't even give creators the option to declare work "public domain". You have to be more specific than that, or it still reserves you the right to sue (and win) against any recipients.

          If you want to follow Vaclav Havel's "Living in truth", then I commend you for it. But that's always a legal risk, and we're no longer talking about the law.

      • tekne a day ago

        You are essentially saying that walking is safe because as a civilian you are unlikely to get robbed.

        This is a terrible take. All it takes is an angry mugger, and you could get killed.

        • knorker a day ago

          Walking is not illegal.

          That's why your analogy doesn't work.

tonymet a day ago

use this if you want a corporation to use your content & IP to make money, while offering nothing to you (or the community) in return.

modzu a day ago

i do wonder if the world would be a better place if instead of lawyers we had cage matches

  • AnimalMuppet a day ago

    Southwest Airlines got sued by some other company over, IIRC, color schemes. Southwest's CEO (Herb Kelleher) made an offer to the other CEO: They skip the lawyers and settle it with an arm-wrestling contest. The other CEO agreed.

    Eventually, they wound up selling tickets to the match, and donated the proceeds to charity.

    Now that's a civilized way to conduct a lawsuit.