I used to have this feeling, and I just got over this hurdle. I now continue coding by hand with zero AI usage. It's amazing how much better you feel when you get to use your brain. What really helped me was many perspective shifts
perspective shift 1: the people that never cared about programming/engineering finally left the room. the people chasing the trends, trying to grift, or just after money are finally gone. we can finally be in a room and just talk about good engineering. the people we as engineers never wanted to hear from are off attempting to force the world to use a tool that everyone 40 and under passionately rejects (this is spicy for HN terms, but the avg joe hates AI. people aren't stupid - they know they only stand to lose from it in the longer term).
perspective shift 2: I just read Zen, and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance. It taught me a lot. I came away from that book understanding what "quality" means at a very philosophical level, and it gave me a lot of confidence for some fuzzy thoughts I already felt. it's too abstract to explain here, but it does a good job of explaining that there is perceived and strong difference between caring something into existence, verses just generating something into existence. this book breaks down how quality is not some artifact that lives in what you're making, and or is some feeling you get when you look at something that is aesthetically pleasing - quality is an event that occurs before you mind has differentiated yourself from the thing subject/object you're admiring - and in that moment, quality arises from the care you give it. there must exists energy and care towards what you're doing for quality to arise. generating anything with AI will never bring that fruition.
many people try to counter this stance by saying that they iterate with AI forever, and assume that iteration is a the same as the caring event described in ZATAOMM - but the difference is that grading output is not the same as creating/authorship. it's must a read and deep study I think if you're into programming and this mental state
perspective shift 3: This talk from Brandon Sanderson called We are the Art [1]. I personally do a lot of creative coding - like games and such. this talk does a great job of breaking down how art and creation ultimately lives in the person. I won't summarize here, just a must a watch
perspective shift 4: I got off all the mainstream social media site bc the PR machine for AI is relentless. of course you're going to feel like crap when every site says, future generations will be homeless, K shaped economy, permanent underclass, etc. you gotta log off these sites to create some distance with the beast - it's not you, the world really is just messed up rn. Also I barely browse HN anymore. this place is the public square for VCs and people who lost hte plot with technology - I just happened to be here, and wanted to help my fellow programmer grinding through the same mental trenches I was in
perspective shift 5: go find some programming communities on discord. I'm in a discord with like 5000 active members that really care about coding, and doing so without AI. this is a very active discord. once you realize there is a strong community still building like this, it really showed me we're not low in numbers, and there still a large group of people that will celebrate engineering efforts done by hand. and there are still people that need to understand these machines at a very deep level - you're efforts aren't wasted
perspective shift 6: look at AI on the job as a way to get your work done faster to get home to do real programming. work code can be trash, home is where the real work is done. The analogy I’ve been telling myself is that it’s like going into a gold mine - no one wants to be in the mine, but i do like leaving with gold. i gotta pay the bills, but i don’t need to love it.
perspective shift 7: The overall environment we live is just depressing and is reminiscent to Fahrenheit 451. I came away feeling closer to the author and protagonist than my first read. specifically the kind of hubris/ignorance found in all the side characters of F451 mimics what it feels like to talk with ai optimists. also, the way F451 is a world filled with people that are actively disengaged and comfortable being passively entertained feels almost too real. this book draws a lot of parallels with modern times, and it's a nice book to remind you that other people have felt this way in times of large technological change - and you're not crazy to feel depressed.
Go start working on that side project you use to be really passionate about. me and all the other serious engineers are excited to see it
> quality is an event that occurs before you mind has differentiated yourself from the thing subject/object you're admiring - and in that moment, quality arises from the care you give it. there must exists energy and care towards what you're doing for quality to arise. generating anything with AI will never bring that fruition.
This sounds very closely related to "ownership", something we've been trying to get rid of through agile/scrum and "bus factor" talk for over a decade.
Thanks for this. Another perspective shift: do real things in the real world. Read physical books, make art with your own two hands, garden, go for a walk. I’m going to re-learn cursive handwriting. No real reason other than my handwriting is bad and I want to incorporate more writing into my life. The recent post here about Neal Stephenson was an inspiration.
link, please? :)
https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=49022152
Hey I just wanted to say thanks for writing this. I’m going to check out the things you mentioned, and it just feels nice to know there are like minded people out there. You writing this has helped me feel better about the state of things, and I appreciate that.
No 4: getting off social media and HN is a good thing in general and in particular. There really is a distortion field around these sites that can make you feel sick.
> perspective shift 1: the people that never cared about programming/engineer finally left of the room.
God I wish, they've all become annoying loud "thought leaders"
You are obviously with them in the wrong room....
Once you know them for who/what they are, and you learn to be comfortable enough with not following them closely, or not knowing what the hip thing is right now, then you can learn to let go of that (almost) insatiable need to keep up. Let them have the room - and the mental energy it requires.
A recent thing that caused a perspective shift for me was identifying where my drive was coming from. Triggered by the difference between the etymologies of amateur (one who loves) vs connoisseur (one who knows).
Amateur - learns construction on free time ad hoc/by doing, builds a cabin, enjoys living in it
Connoisseur - reads lots of books on construction, might build a cabin to verify competence, enjoys thinking about it
Professional - went to school and works in construction, enjoys the paycheck, doesn't have a cabin
I haven't read the motorcycle zen book yet, but I imagine that is the loving amateur angle, whereas for me I just thrive in knowledge. Translating that to the current AI hellscape, I kinda like that the code crafting bit is a bit less pronounced where I can instead focus on getting to know the system/model/domain of my work. It helps with the dystopian feelings I sometimes get from being in the mine. But if you are a passionate coder, I would imagine that letting someone else build your cabin would be extremely provoking.
Thank you for this post.
thank you for this - needed it.